Your Money or Your Life: The Great Advice Review Scam

How the FCA Let “Coffee and Cake” Count as Compliance

🕯️ For the everyday investors who thought they were paying for peace of mind, not pastries in a Tesco car park.

The Injustice Unmasked

Imagine being charged thousands every year for “ongoing financial advice” only to find out that bumping into your adviser in a car park counts as a review.

That’s not satire.

That’s what Simon Walls—interim executive director at the Financial Conduct Authority—confirmed last month about the ongoing advice probe. In the FCA’s own words:

“It was not focused on the quality of the review, it was focused on the existence of the review.”

Let that sink in. Not quality. Just existence. A nod. A wave. A polite email. An invitation for coffee and cake. Boom—box ticked. Fees justified.

This is what regulation looks like in 2025. And it stinks.

The FCA’s long-awaited “ongoing advice services” probe—two years in the making—has dropped. And despite 22 of the UK’s largest advice firms scrambling to tidy up their records since 2022, all it took was the faintest trace of a client interaction to get the thumbs up.

Because what matters, apparently, is that something happened. Not whether it meant anything. Not whether it helped the client. Just… something.

The Collapse of Credibility

Let’s be clear—this isn’t about rogue advisers or one-off mistakes.

This is about an entire system engineered to appear compliant while quietly siphoning off billions from unsuspecting clients.

Back in December 2022, the FCA raised the alarm: were clients actually receiving what they were paying for? Were these ongoing services relevant, valuable, even delivered?

Fast-forward to 2025 and the answer is… who cares? So long as you logged a meeting—even a fake one—you’re golden.

Annual reviews were meant to be about suitability. About ensuring investments align with a client’s goals, risk tolerance, and changing life circumstances. Not a biscuit and a chat.

But the probe reveals the truth: this industry has been charging “gym memberships” without delivering workouts. Worse, regulators have looked away while the cash rolled in.

The Rotten Core Exposed

So what did the FCA find?

📌 83% of reviews did take place.
📌 15% of clients ghosted or declined a review.
📌 2%—nothing happened at all.

Sounds reassuring? Only if you’re grading on a curve set by crooks.

Because the dirty little secret is that many of these “reviews” were completely meaningless. Manufactured. Paper trails created after the FCA’s request for data. Firms panicked, backfilled, and called it compliance.

This wasn’t a health check. It was a cover-up.

And here’s the kicker: even though the regulator flagged those 2% of no-shows as “needing to be put right,” they concluded that the issue wasn’t systemic.

Really?

How many people need to be overcharged for it to be systemic? 1,000? 10,000? A million?

The FCA’s Great Gaslight

This isn’t just regulatory failure. This is regulatory theatre.

Because if the FCA had genuinely pulled back the carpet, they would have found more than dust. They’d have found deceit baked into the business model.

For over a decade, firms have built recurring revenue streams off the back of passive, disengaged clients—using “ongoing service agreements” as the legal grease.

Clients who don’t respond? Keep billing them. Clients who decline a review? Keep billing them. Clients who’ve died? Hell, keep billing them too—until someone notices.

And when the spotlight turns on?

Send out a flurry of emails, tick the CRM boxes, and voilà—retroactive compliance.

It’s like being robbed monthly… and then told it was your fault for not noticing.

Time to Reclaim the Narrative

Here’s the truth the FCA won’t say out loud:

A bad review is no better than no review.

The idea that value is being delivered just because an “interaction” occurred is insulting to every client paying for peace of mind.

This isn’t financial planning. It’s a farce.

So what do we do?

We stop playing their game.

We stop accepting vague fees for vague services.

We learn to ask the hard questions:
🟠 What exactly am I paying for?
🟠 What did you actually do for me this year?
🟠 Can I see the record of advice? Risk review? Updated plan?
🟠 Why are you charging me the same fee in a year where nothing changed?

Because “trust me” isn’t good enough anymore.

The New Standard: Rebuild and Thrive

At the Academy of Life Planning, we teach people to take back control of their financial future. Not through blind trust, but through transparent planning and true value.

We believe in charging for what’s delivered, not what’s assumed.

We believe in planning your life before your money.

And we believe that the system must change—not just to restore trust, but to deliver justice for those who’ve already been robbed.

NOW Is the Time

Now is the time to unmask the charade. Now is the time to lift the carpet and name the rot. Now is the time to rebuild a financial system that serves people—not just profits.

This is not the end of the story. It’s the beginning of a reckoning.

No more tea and biscuits for £8,000 a year.

No more passive billing in the name of passive clients.

No more regulators pretending that presence equals performance.

Because your money deserves more than a car park conversation.

And your life? It deserves a plan.